Today was sunny and warm. I did yoga poses with the kiddies during sport this afternoon. It did me good to be stretching out in my skirt and bare feet. Today I became a sounding board for everyone else, and yesterday Ali was mine. So I suppose the weight lifted a little so that I could carry a few others.
I spoke to my mom today. It was good to talk to her. It’s been awhile. My grandpa picked up the phone and he was on his way out the door to pick my grandma up from the hospital. She’s going home. I won’t need to jump each time the phone rings for fear of bad news when it’s really just Ali sending me some sunshine for my day. I cried after I spoke with her last night. She sounded so tired. The realization that she has to give in to the defeat of her body has started to truly set in for her. It is hard to be so far away and reach out with our fingertips and feel so close but unable to touch.
I wrote an entry an hour or so ago and lost it to the depths of my computer. After chatting online with my love, tiredness has fallen upon me and now the happiness seems have been replaced by heavy lids and the need to fall into my sofabed.
I became a member of Teachers Without Borders today. I suppose I will be doing some volunteering from here and eventually I will get out into “the field.” I think it will also tie in with my work for the Woman to Woman organization I seem to have jummped into as well. Again, working from here. Last night Ali told me to work on my five year plan and the steps that lead up to it. I started today.
I suppose this place will be good for my writing and search for more inner selves. I keep hearing about the greyness of the winter and I feel the loneliness in the summer and I fear what will decend upon me in those dark days where the sun hides her face for weeks on end. My mom said maybe that’s why I’m here, to do something with all that time, write a novel. Do some art. Learn a language. Do some yoga. (The latter three are my additions to my mom’s suggestion). I also searched through some literary mags and of course made a list to purchase when I get to NYC.
And we decided to rent a car to drive to Michigan and then take the train back to explore NYC, and it even stops for a couple hours on the way in DC. Oh the road ahead of us…
And now I will decend into slumber. And share this. It makes me smile. And maybe it will make you smile too…