I love the beginning of a new month. Time to flip the calendar picture and start fresh. Usually I am looking forward to something, ticking off the days. In Switzerland, it was always waiting for the next time I would see Ali. Here, I have a count down to my first day of work [August 21], the arrival of my mom [August 31], and our wedding date [September 7]. All very exciting events. But for the first time in my life in a loooong time, I am really not paying attention to these dates nearing, or ticking them away. I am aware that they exist and that there are certain things I need to achieve before they arrive, but I am living day to day — in the present — which is something I always work to achieve. Funny thing is, I haven’t even been working at it, it has just happened.
I am happy with every day because I am living in London with Ali. I chat or speak online with my mom almost every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I try to call and connect with at least one person from Michigan during Ali’s work weeks. I have been planning our wedding, a little bit and sometimes a lot, every day. The BIG things are taken care of, well almost, and I feel lighter and trust everything will continue falling into place. My life is good. I am well. I have a new hobby of planting flowers and trying to keep them alive. I have time for this. I have time to make dinner every night. I use one of the several vegetarian cook books I have been given or collected along the way and it feels like we eat out at a restuarant nightly, but much more affordable. I make Ali lunch every night because I love him and want him to eat healthy food when he is working. I don’t do it because he expects me to. I keep the apartment clean, I have certain standards of cleanliness and organisation, so I can’t help it. But Ali also works side by side with me to clean as well. We are a team.
This is the first summer since I have left Michigan that I have not travelled home to visit for a long period of time. My nephews are confused as they recall trips to the park, pushes on the swings, wandering around Detroit Zoo, baking cookies and taking walks in the summer sunshine. They don’t understand why I am not there and why I can’t be there. I can’t explain it to them. But even though I miss my family terribly, this is where I want to be. With Ali. Building our new life together in London. It doesn’t mean I am not searching for the chance to go for a visit and give everyone a great big hug. Or even looking forward to the time when we will live closer. Chosing a life abroad means missing out on things. Like Ethan’s first tooth falling out. Like J and A’s new addition to the family. Like weddings and births and all the things we love to share with the close people in our lives. It also means not many people can come to our wedding. Or that we plan special celebrations for when we return to Melbourne and Michigan to share the joy and happiness we have found together.
Yesterday we hung the world map on our livingroom wall. It was good to take a look at it again and see all the places we have been and all the places we have yet to be. It’s like life, one place at a time, one moment at a time. We breath in. We breath out. That’s what it’s all about. Living it. The way we can. The way we know how. The way we want to. The way we need to. And sometimes, the way we are forced to. But that’s for another post about world events. Because even thought my life is good, I reckognise daily the carnage that is being bestowed upon the Lebanese and Palestinians. Because even though the people in my life are well and happy, there are familes being literally torn apart by Israeli bombs. And Hizbollah rockets. But like I said, that’s another post all together.
Chin up, buttercup.