What a glorious day. I can hardly believe it’s been a year. I still remember sitting in the big orange chair in our flat in London, holding you as you cried unable to be consoled. You were just a few weeks old and it was in that moment that I realized I was really a mom. Your mom. I wanted to pull my hair out. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to make you stop crying. I rubbed your back. I sang songs. I held you close. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, although it was likely gas bubbles in your belly. The only way you could communicate your pain was through your tears. And your wailing. But we got through it. You eventually quieted. We sat sleeping in the chair together, waiting for your dad to come home. Or sometimes, you cried until he arrived, after I had called asked him to come home early. Those early days were not without challenges. But rewards too.
Now, you still get the occasional air bubble, but I know when and I know how to make it go away. I know every cry and what it means. I see your lower lip quiver and I know you are hungry and tired and just want to be nursed to sleep. I waited three months until you decided to breast feed. I spent every two hours pumping and feeding you breast milk, even throughout the night. Just before we moved to Egypt you decided to breast feed. Thank God.
You had a pretty busy first year of life. Your passport has more stamps than most Americans have just in your first year of life. Your first trip on an airplane was with Swiss Air to Switzerland to visit some of my friends. Shortly after that we moved to Egypt. We’ve taken trips back to the UK and into America so you could meet your family in Michigan. You are a seasoned traveler. You prefer public transportation over a ride in the car any day. Your favorite are buses. Well, London buses at least.
Everywhere we go people stop to bless you, kiss your cheek or your hands, even have their photo taken with you. People feel your bright spirit each time you flash one of your contagious smiles. So cute. You are our sunshine. Your happiness cheers me, even when I am tired or frustrated, I just look at you and everything is fine. I remember your first smile so vividly. I waited so long and tears welled in my eyes when you did it. I know the same will happen when you first say my name. Mama.
You work hard to accomplish everything you do. And you will accomplish everything. I love you Sebastian. And I am looking forward to all our adventures together in the year to come.