I have returned.
I don’t think I could have anticipated how busy we would be during our last month in Michigan. The first month was balancing seeing family and friends with two therapies, HBOT and ABM. The second month saw us adding four different doctors and trips to the Children’s Hospital of Michigan in Detroit; twice for not so fun tests. All of this has obviously meant little to no time for reflection, but of course I want to retrace and remember some of our steps and adventures a little bit at a time. I can’t say I will be able to do it in any sort of order because if I tried I would just forget it and start with today.
Being back in Cairo has been challenging for me. And I think for Sebastian too as he has been fussier than usual. I have no doubt that jet lag has played a role in this but also a lack of family around is sure to have made an impact too. I wonder what Sebastian thinks. ‘Where has grandma gone?’ The day we left Michigan, he wouldn’t let her out if his sight. He knew something was going on and he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. It was an exhausting day trying to fit everything into the three suitcases we were allowed. Repacking and weighing on a short nights’ sleep, well short week of sleep really. He spent the day hanging out with my mom, getting in his cuddles as much as he could before we were to walk through security at the airport. [flight story in another post, just to keep things short and organized!]
We are so happy to be reunited with Ali. It feels good to be a family again, all together in one happy home. Ali took some time off for our return so we were able to get back into family life in Maadi. This week has been our fist week on our own and we are back to the long days and nights while Ali works long hours. But the moments when he comes home in time for Sebastian’s bath, and the mornings we can all have breakfast together, make those long days worth it.
I miss my mom. I miss my family. I miss the new therapy friends we made in Michigan. And I know Sebastian does too. Sometimes he’s looking around and I know he’s wondering where everyone has gone and how is the house so different? It’s amazing to exist in two places at once, but only possible to physically be in one and even then to feel you are living two separate lives. Not everyone knows what this feels like. It’s strange, heartbreaking and blissful all at the same time. There is a teetering of back and forth, back and forth. And I do my best to live in the now. In this place. In this journey. Today.