Happy birthday Josh. You would be thirty today. Such a milestone birthday. Seems you missed them all. 16. 18. 21. And now 30. You’ve been gone the years equal to your lifetime. This realization is hard to accept. Soon the years that we have lived without you will out-number the years we lived with you. Except the whole of my childhood, from age 5 to 19, was lived with you in it. And there is nothing, except the loss of memories I fear with time that goes by, that can take a childhood together away from us.
I wanted to remember our younger years. I went through some old photos that dad gave me the summer after I married. My husband was born the same year as you. 1981. I found the photos in a box labeled, ‘Fragile. Sentimental photos. Not replaceable.’ I searched for fun photos of us growing up. To my surprise I found photos from your first months of life. One from the day you were born. A few from the early weeks that followed. I don’t remember these moments. But I can imagine them from the photos which imprint memories of our childhood together.
Happy birthday Josh. Today I will do something special. Because you would want me to.