Today Josh would have been 31. I spent my childhood with him but in my adulthood there are only memories. And I hold onto those memories through photos and stories and remembering special days. Like birthdays. This is the year where he’s been gone longer than he was with us. 16 years.
On June 9 and July 2, every year, I like to do something special. Just for myself and in memory of Josh. It doesn’t have to be something big. Just something out of my day to take time to remember and celebrate.
Today Ali painted our room Spanish Moss, a light sage color. And tomorrow I’ll start decorating part of it for the baby joining us in about 6 weeks time. While he painted, Sebastian and I went for a walk and picked out a pot of beautiful hanging flowers. After lunch we took Seb to the park and then went back to the flower shop so Ali could help carry them home. Now they hang outside our dining room window. Everytime I look at them I will think of Josh’s 31st birthday and reminicse about the times before that we had together.
It’s difficult to grow older without someone in your life who was always there before. I think about how my husband and my brother were born the same year. I always imagine Josh teasing me about it. It’s kind of nice that each year I grow older with my husband, who is 5 years younger, I think of Josh somehow growing older too.
I appreciate all the kind thoughts and comments I’ve received today on FB. It is important to me to remember those that have left us and celebrate the time we had together. No matter how many years go by.