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37+ Week Thoughts

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Here I am! I’ll be 38 weeks Friday. The heat is starting to get to me and my ankles/feet. Everyone asks how I’m feeling. I’m feeling hot! And getting tired easily. But I feel good. Having a smooth pregnancy was never a worry/issue for me. It is the bit that comes at the end which causes anxiety and fear, but I’ve been working through that from the beginning with writing, prayer and talking to good folks, including my fabulous husband. Some women are surprised I have not planned a c-section because of Sebastian’s traumatic birth. Of course I am open to one should the need arise and we have talked extensively with our doctor about our concerns and need to be ready for such an event sooner than later. But we do hope to have a natural birth as safety permits. We meet Friday to discuss my final birth plan. My worry with a c-section is the recovery and not being able to take care of Seb or even just being apart from him for days recovering in the hospital. We have never been apart overnight from each other. It is so important to me to talk him through this family change so that he doesn’t think each time I go away I will come back with a baby! And if I couldn’t hold him or pick him up?

The past few weeks I’ve started nesting. Decorating our room, where baby will sleep. Sewing. Finishing up projects for Seb and starting new ones for baby. Washing old baby clothes and reusable nappies. I feel more ready for baby as the weeks wind down, moving us closer to July 20, while working to have things ready with Seb. There will always be paperwork and appointments but at some point you just accept where you are and go with it. We will take a break from most therapies and other appointments will be caught up for the next 3-6 months. We will continue to work on communication and literacy stuff and Seb will go to his morning summer camp for the first two weeks of August at his school. I think it will be a special treat for him after his sibling arrives as well as some good routine and hanging out with friends.

Mainly my hope was to have these weeks between school and baby to spend some quality time with Sebastian, preparing emotionally for baby, having fun AND revisit potty training. And we are doing the first two items on the agenda. We worked last summer with potty training, but Seb really didn’t have the strength to sit on the potty long enough. This year he is so much stronger, and we’ve worked so much at communication, I wanted to give it another try before arrival of baby. But with this heat and the calendar of events it is looking less likely. We need to see if he can feel when he is ready and control those urges as well as communicate them. I want to have whole days in succession to chart his potty times. And those days are just running thin.

Can you tell I feel a little guilty? Guilty about the things this big pregnant body does not allow me to do with Seb, albeit for a short period of time? Like go to the park and sit with him on the swings or help him down the slide. Help him stand and walk. Even the heat and my tiredness makes simple things like helping him sit and playing with him a challenge. I know it is for a short time but… We’ve had adventures to the library and gotten books about welcoming a baby into our family. He loves reading these with me in the afternoons. We take walks in the stroller when weather (and feet swelling) permits in-between appointments and errands. We made a puppet this afternoon and have a few other fun projects to do. We take long afternoon naps to rejuvenate and escape the heat when we can. And sometimes we soak our feet in a tub of cool water and watch Sesame Street together. And weekends with Papa-Daddy balance everything out.

Thankfully this past holiday weekend we had a picnic in Bluffers Park on Lake Ontario, where the temp is always a few degrees cooler. A good friend took me out for Gelato while Ali and Seb went for a swim at the local outdoor pool. We also spent one morning at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) checking out the new dinosaur exhibit. We don’t have air conditioning in our place, and although we have two fans, it can get pretty sticky at home. So activities out for part of the day create a nice balance. We even managed a quick visit to the Farmer’s Market at The Brick Works and a short trip to the park. If only every weekend could be three days long. The weekend coming up looks like another hot one. Perhaps a trip to the pool and lakeside should be on the agenda. I’m hoping my feet swelling goes down a bit so I can get back to my sewing. And the beat goes on.

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33 weeks pregnant and Seb in Kid Walk/Seb sitting tall at the park with Papa-Daddy

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9 thoughts on “37+ Week Thoughts”

  1. Kara, you are so beautiful and I am so excited for all of you to welcome the new little one. I can see how you would feel guilty but I think the fact that you feel guilty shows that you shouldn’t. You are an amazing mama to Seb and even being 38-weeks and tired hasn’t changed that. If Seb felt separated from his mama I think you’d know. It will be an adjustment for all of you and I imagine a little madness at first but you will all get into a groove. I know Seb is going to be an amazing big brother and take on that big brother role. Watching my sister’s kids grow-up has showed me that it is often the older siblings who are the only ones who can soothe the younger ones. There was always something special watching my eldest niece Ella sing to her brother Sam when he was crying or touch his head. He would immediately stop crying. I wish I had advice on the delivery. All I can say is to have faith and know that you are surrounded by so much love and support. One day at a time my beautiful friend.

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    1. Thanks for such a beautiful message Gemma. I’m so lucky to have you as a friend. You are so supportive and I appreciate it so much.

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  2. Hello Kara! Wow, you are looking amazing although I don’t envy you being heavily pregnant in the middle of summer. It is amazing the difference seasons make to late pregnancy I always found. I have always said that the best thing I ever did for Florence was to have Beatrix and the best thing I ever did for those 2 was to have Elsie. You will be overwhelmed by how much Seb will love his new sibling. As I sit her now watching my 3 you realize how amazing it is to have sisters/brothers. My time is, of course, stretched and you always worry that one doesn’t get what they need in terms of time and attention but I can assure you that the attention given to each other by the kids is really as worthy as mine. The dynamic just changes that’s all. Good luck, my friend with these last few weeks. I know the birth must weigh heavy on your mind but you are strong and so much more knowledgeable this time around. Lots of love from Nz xxxxx

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    1. Thanks so much Josie. I know that things will balance out and I do feel armed with much more knowledge this time around. Your words are so appreciated!

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  3. Best wishes to all of you as you transition into a family of four… Very anxious to meet your littlest. It’s been a challenging year for me as I jjuggled life with two (Esme will be one on the 20th) but having a sibling is the best thing that has happened to Oia. And to us. Hang on girl… Life is about to get chaotic, but even sweeter still. Hugs.

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    1. Thanks Mo! Such great insight! I didn’t realise Esme was born on my due date! I’ll always remember now. 🙂 I know it will be chaotic and take awhile to get into our groove, but I also know Seb will love having a sibling. Exciting times ahead.

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  4. Kara, you look great and I am glad you have the energy you do to take care of Seb and be pregnant.

    Don’t feel guilty, you are the best mom to Seb. If it makes you feel better, I just potty trained S last year or so and he is much older. Things get busy and like I said, you are the best momma!

    Use those fans lady, keep cool. See you soon!

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  5. Hi, Kara! You are simply ADORABLE! Having an amazing husband and son make it easy to look so fresh. I remember several weeks ago you inviting your friends to share birth experiences and I just read your entry about not scheduling a c-section. I wanted to share with you my personal experience in case a c-section is necessary for you. My daughter, Elizabeth, is 4 and perfect in every way. I also had a very easy pregnancy. She was breech, however, from about 6 months. My OB told me that it is the policy of his practice to deliver all breech babes this way. I went into a mini-depression, feeling like I was getting cheated out of a complete pregnancy experience. Knowing that would likely never feel a contraction, feel the warm gush of my water breaking in the middle of the night, the blissful anxiety of rushing to the hospital, etc. I was sad for myself. But I powered through and as the 38th week approached, my husband and I simply picked any day during that week. April 28th seemed to be the best day for my husband’s work schedule. That morning we drove from Novi to Howell in near silence. I was nervous, on the verge of tears. I think I told my beloved that I changed my mind, that I didn’t really want to have a baby that day. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to care for my own child after such major surgery.

    So as we approached two ancient volunteer crones at the main entrance/inpatient, I announced proudly: I’m supposed to have a baby today.” Of course they laughed, but I was struggling to keep my tears (and fears) deep inside.

    My surgery went perfectly well! My husband watched the whole thing. His strong 6’5″ body towering over a tiny Filipino male OB is weirdly one of the most powerful memories I have of the actual procedure.

    The surgery was surprisingly quick. I felt nothing physically other than pressure and forceful pulling and tugging. The nurses all exclaimed: “Oh, my! That is a breech baby!” They pulled her out of my body and I was not pregnant anymore. Sadly.

    She didn’t scream or cry. Just punched the air with one arm. My husband began crying with joy and love and didn’t stop for an hour. She was perfect. A bit on the skinny side, for my taste. I nursed her for the first time when she was just minutes old and my husband sobbed with snot pouring from his nose.

    I spent three nights in the hospital and was treated like a queen.

    I was sore when my epidural wore off. Laughing was excruciating for about two days.

    My incision healed very quickly and nicely. Within days I was feeling great. I was able to sit, stand, pick up my baby, nurse or pump, shower, do the dishes, etc.

    It really wasn’t bad at all. I felt safe and cared for at all times in the hospital. Although, I must confess to still feeling like I missed a “true” birthing experience.

    I pray that you and your husband have a calm and peaceful birthing experience this time. You’re already a mom and nothing short of death can ever stop you from mothering your son. Try not to worry, lovey. God has trusted you with His children. Your body is strong and your resolve is unshakable. You can do this!

    I wish you the very best.

    Smoochies,

    Angela Gravelle Quiring

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