Here I am! I’ll be 38 weeks Friday. The heat is starting to get to me and my ankles/feet. Everyone asks how I’m feeling. I’m feeling hot! And getting tired easily. But I feel good. Having a smooth pregnancy was never a worry/issue for me. It is the bit that comes at the end which causes anxiety and fear, but I’ve been working through that from the beginning with writing, prayer and talking to good folks, including my fabulous husband. Some women are surprised I have not planned a c-section because of Sebastian’s traumatic birth. Of course I am open to one should the need arise and we have talked extensively with our doctor about our concerns and need to be ready for such an event sooner than later. But we do hope to have a natural birth as safety permits. We meet Friday to discuss my final birth plan. My worry with a c-section is the recovery and not being able to take care of Seb or even just being apart from him for days recovering in the hospital. We have never been apart overnight from each other. It is so important to me to talk him through this family change so that he doesn’t think each time I go away I will come back with a baby! And if I couldn’t hold him or pick him up?
The past few weeks I’ve started nesting. Decorating our room, where baby will sleep. Sewing. Finishing up projects for Seb and starting new ones for baby. Washing old baby clothes and reusable nappies. I feel more ready for baby as the weeks wind down, moving us closer to July 20, while working to have things ready with Seb. There will always be paperwork and appointments but at some point you just accept where you are and go with it. We will take a break from most therapies and other appointments will be caught up for the next 3-6 months. We will continue to work on communication and literacy stuff and Seb will go to his morning summer camp for the first two weeks of August at his school. I think it will be a special treat for him after his sibling arrives as well as some good routine and hanging out with friends.
Mainly my hope was to have these weeks between school and baby to spend some quality time with Sebastian, preparing emotionally for baby, having fun AND revisit potty training. And we are doing the first two items on the agenda. We worked last summer with potty training, but Seb really didn’t have the strength to sit on the potty long enough. This year he is so much stronger, and we’ve worked so much at communication, I wanted to give it another try before arrival of baby. But with this heat and the calendar of events it is looking less likely. We need to see if he can feel when he is ready and control those urges as well as communicate them. I want to have whole days in succession to chart his potty times. And those days are just running thin.
Can you tell I feel a little guilty? Guilty about the things this big pregnant body does not allow me to do with Seb, albeit for a short period of time? Like go to the park and sit with him on the swings or help him down the slide. Help him stand and walk. Even the heat and my tiredness makes simple things like helping him sit and playing with him a challenge. I know it is for a short time but… We’ve had adventures to the library and gotten books about welcoming a baby into our family. He loves reading these with me in the afternoons. We take walks in the stroller when weather (and feet swelling) permits in-between appointments and errands. We made a puppet this afternoon and have a few other fun projects to do. We take long afternoon naps to rejuvenate and escape the heat when we can. And sometimes we soak our feet in a tub of cool water and watch Sesame Street together. And weekends with Papa-Daddy balance everything out.
Thankfully this past holiday weekend we had a picnic in Bluffers Park on Lake Ontario, where the temp is always a few degrees cooler. A good friend took me out for Gelato while Ali and Seb went for a swim at the local outdoor pool. We also spent one morning at the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) checking out the new dinosaur exhibit. We don’t have air conditioning in our place, and although we have two fans, it can get pretty sticky at home. So activities out for part of the day create a nice balance. We even managed a quick visit to the Farmer’s Market at The Brick Works and a short trip to the park. If only every weekend could be three days long. The weekend coming up looks like another hot one. Perhaps a trip to the pool and lakeside should be on the agenda. I’m hoping my feet swelling goes down a bit so I can get back to my sewing. And the beat goes on.
33 weeks pregnant and Seb in Kid Walk/Seb sitting tall at the park with Papa-Daddy