It’s just after 7am. There’s a vomit stain on my left shoulder. It’s brown. ‘Coffee ground vomit’ they’d said. Dried blood. A shadow of yesterday every time I look up. Extreme Gastroparesis. Did they use that word, extreme? Shifts of sleep intervals between Sebastian and I. 15, 20, 30, 45 minutes tops. Total? Maybe 3 hours. Is it too early to check the cartoon channel?
Dec 21 11:11pm
In hospital with Seb. Machines beeping. Body wretching. No more blood filled vomit. So far. IV infused medicines. Heavy hand. Disturbed sleep.
Dec 22 1:07am
We were so tired. We just wanted to sleep. Finally we fell asleep just after 12.30am. Not 10mins later we woke to the monitor beeping. At 1am he still couldn’t settle and cried out in discomfort. I told him ‘I am here. We need to sleep. We are so tired.’ He cried out with further gusto. I went over to pick him up and hold him in my arms. His arms tightened around me and immediately he fell asleep.
I laid him down facing my own bed so when he wakes he can see me immediately. He moves a bit as I rustle into bed. I can see him too now. And we sleep.
Fitful night of sleep. Or lack of. Writhing in pain. The sun will be up soon. It’s still raining outside. Shift change soon.
There are 3 more days until Christmas. We aren’t home to change the felt number over on the advent calendar. Or put the surprise in the felt pocket. Or there to sign for the very big Christmas gift arriving from the UK (cerebra sled for Seb. Shhh). Tallula is snug in bed with daddy. Probably coughing a bit. Rubbing her eyes. Or her ears. Sore. After her rock star little sister performance yesterday. She sees the fun in everything. Wearing a Mickey Mouse face mask to keep your cough to yourself, awesome! ‘I love Mickey Mouse!’ Endless flow of cartoons on the tele? Sign me up! None of these doctors care how I’m feeling? Nevermind. I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow.
Sebastian has the best sister ever. There is no competition. She climbs up into the hospital bed with him and strokes his free hand and then the one stuffed with the IV. She picks out a balloon from the hospital gift shop, ‘You are Special’ across a colourful summer-like backdrop.
The tears always come easier when you’re tired. Sebastian isn’t vomitting anymore but he’s still in pain and we still don’t know the cause of his vomitting (which started Friday). I’m not talking about Sebastian’s tears either. Though there’s been plenty.
The ER nurse thought we’d be here until the 23rd or 24th. Seb needs to rehydrate and then keep food/Gtube feed down. Knowing the cause of all of this would be helpful. Maybe a virus. Or something else. Either way. Here’s hoping for home today. His body can’t handle another night without sleep.