I know that scars are supposed to be ‘cool’. Remember Luke Perry and his tiny scar over his eyebrow that really just ended up being a bowling accident or something of the like? We all thought he was such a dreamy ‘bad boy.’ I know that it could have been much worse. And that for others it is. But I’ve still got a pink crescent moon on my cheek. And it’s not there for any other reason than my bike wheel got stuck in a street car track. There was no wrestling with bears or falling out of trees or stumbling over a rock while climbing a mountain. Just my face hitting the pavement. Actually, not even that.
My Warby Parker sun glasses actually did the deed. Flesh meets broken plastic sandwhiched against the pavement. Perhaps that’s why they’ve so graciously decided to replace my prescription sunglasses that I went all the way to Boston to try on. It started with a query as to whether they’d just replace the arm and ended with a one time special exchange, just for me and my broken face.
Today the last piece of glue peeled off after warm wash. The curve beneath, pink and soft. Like a baby bum after a warm bath. I look at my new face and dab some Vitamin E oil to help minimise the scar. I tell myself that I’m not really that vain. It’s just a small scar. But I still stare back at myself in the mirror. My new face. The pink will fade into white, but the space will always be there. It feels strange to touch and I wonder if I will get the feeling back in it entirely. I feel guilty for caring. I try to connect the scar to a deeper meaning in life and I find nothing.
It was just me turning left and stumbling down after getting caught in the street car track. And if I never leave Toronto to tell the story, it won’t be like a stamp in my passport, it will just be something I did where I live my life. My very safe, stay-at-home-mom life. Where accidents sometimes happen.
*I’m publishing this a month or so after I wrote it on the day when a recent study has been published about the dangers of street car tracks for cyclists, Streetcar tracks major cause of serious downtown cycling crashes, new study finds. 1/3 of all cycling accidents are a result of entanglement with the tracks. The solution proposed is a request to city planners for more separated bike lanes. Oh, and that scar in the photo above is mostly hiding under the shadow of my sunnies.